Ever-loved or Never-loved

Two souls bound by life’s sweet attrition
Sweet enough to turn sour
Sour enough to burn
Cremation set long before I start to yearn

We learned that sex can’t buy love
Instead, it feeds the disease
That fucking chucking numbing feeding
Sinking fading bleeding feeling

We learned that hope isn’t truth
And yet we hope to believe
We gasp for what is real
Yet only lies do we breathe

We saw the ground turn to sand
As we build on what is dead
The colder the heart
Makes the warmer the bed

I can’t swim and love the land
But fuck that send me off to sea
Emotionally constipated and repressed
But still want somebody to love me

Love me till their heart bleeds like mine
Love me till my blood turns to wine
And leave me then, never again sober
Heartbroken, decaying – in the middle of October.

Let winter sets it’s teeth upon my bones
As the wolves sate their hunger on my skin
Let the sea drag me down to Davy Jones
As the demons await me with a grin

Whether sea-tossed or land bound
It matters not.
For if I ever loved or never loved,
I have forgot.

Harpoon

Harpoon lodged in chest

Immeasurable pain when touched.

.

Even rainfall lands heavy.

.

Too painful to leave exposed

Too painful to remove

.

To remove means to separate heart…

From body.

Survival not guaranteed.

.

A thorn plucked from a rose.

A solumn reminder

Of how it felt to hold it.

.

A splinter from the wood

Used to build a home;

Now levelled and ashen.

.

Harpoon lodged in chest

Immeasurable pain when touched.

.

Each day that passes draws me closer to tearing it out.

Living

Peering through the glass

At the lives others live.

.

Trapped in skin I claw to get out of

But no sweet escape do I find

.

Detach me from this vessel

And give me a better one.

Perhaps then I’ll be able to live.

.

Perhaps not…